Well, I think I must've somehow broke the University's heart, because they've definitely broken my heart-shaped glasses. I had such naive hopes and expectations of the University and graduate student life, and all that innocence has now been lost. I flirted with the idea of graduate education, and now it's coming around to haunt me.
I'm starting to think this blog and my fiance are the only two things currently keeping me from completely losing my mind. My fiance always knows just what to say to take my mind off of things (like today...we talked about pokemon ha. and him going to school. and our ghost). He's definitely the most wonderful man in the world, and I honestly don't know how I got so freaking lucky. Writing posts in my blog is a great way to vent as well; my mom doesn't want to hear my complaints (she thinks I'm overly dramatic or not giving it enough time), and I feel annoying if I complain too much to my fiance.
Moving on beyond that rant, I'm a completely exhausted. I spent five hours today doing nothing but looking at fossil specimens. That's it. And still after working for a week and the five hours today, I'm not even halfway done. Getting close to halfway not, but still not halfway. I know I need to be done by Saturday night, so I can spend all day Sunday putting the actual document together and redrawing pictures, and then printing it on campus on Monday.
One of the things I've been having the hardest time comprehending is the fact that everyone likes to put their two cents in with advice, but it's almost always completely contradictory. And no one realizes it.
Case in point: The thing people seem to love to say to me is, "You have to do what's right for you." But then they always follow it up with, "But you haven't given the University enough time and are just making a rash decision."
Well now. Putting those two phrases together screams, "You need to do what you think it right, but your thoughts are wrong." So very helpful and encouraging.
Another thing that kills me is everyone says I should ask for help with the rock fossil specimens. Well, yes, I can ask for help. But I have absolutely no background knowledge, so "help" is actually someone just pointing to a crack saying "This is XYZ" and giving me a description. Thereby, just giving me the answer. But giving me the answer isn't actually help. Yes, it'll get me a good grade on a paper. But it won't help when the final comes around when I have to identify these things all by myself when I can't even tell there's something there.
I just want something to make sense somewhere in all of this. Fiance says to put an ad out as soon as possible to find a subleaser. I know he's right, but I'm feeling guilty about it. The worst that happens is I can't find one until next semester, so I suffer through this semester. I know that's the worst case scenario, and it can only get better after that.
Going to try to work up the courage to go talk to the people who work at the apartment complex about subleasing. Maybe sometime this weekend, as a break between putting that paper together.
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