Lost

I honestly don't know what to do with myself. One minute I'm okay, telling myself I have options, and the next I'm crying hysterically at how hopeless my situation is. I desperately need a full time job or to find someone to lease the apartment within the next two months. Those are pretty basically my options as of now. 

Plus, I feel like no matter where I turn for advice (other than the fiancé), I just get yelled at or they attempt to manipulate me out of my decision.

Case in point...

I attempt to get advice from another grad student. He seems all nice and friendly enough, says do what you need to do. Then tacks on how the university might have a clause saying I would have to pay such and such amount of money to withdraw.  I'm on a scholarship, with a completely void contract might I add because of their typo in the offer letter. I assumed as much that I would have to give back the refund they've given me to "survive" off of, but because I had a scholarship, I figured everything else was already good. 

So now I'm having a panic attack about that. I sent an email to the financial aid office asking about it, but I have to wait until they reply. Waiting is the hardest part. 

On top of all that, I still have that project to do that I'm just barely halfway done with that. Plus, this same awesome guy who inspired my panic attack yesterday also informed us that his job is going to be our job soon (and he's so glad about that), even though the rest of the university has a year to get dissertation proposals signed we have until December because of our advisor, and we should, to be competitive, have twenty at least papers published by the end of our time in graduate school. Well, now. I'm sure I can fit all of that in somewhere!...not.

I haven't slept in days, my hair is falling out like crazy, and I constantly have stress hives. This sucks.